I’m Not Your Little Asia Woman: An Open Letter to Men Who’ve Hit On Me

By Jessica Huynh, Storyteller for RU Scholar Life

Hey you! Yes, you.

You’ve been eyeing me from over the space, wide-eyed, racking your mind on the most readily useful way to approach that is best me personally.

I’m talking to you.

And yes, we talk English so there’s no need with“Ni Hao. for you to show off your limited Chinese by greeting me” In reality, i favor for one to saying any such thing to me personally aside from “hi,” “hello,” or “hey. in the event that you d >really maybe not necessary”

In addition should not assume my ethnicity because of the chance that is off correct. As a guideline: in the event that you don’t understand, don’t guess. While it is not a thing we have offended about, it could be irritating whenever I’m forced to try out a round of “Let’s Guess Your Ethnicity!” with a whole complete stranger. We have better things to do with my time, you understand? As opposed to everything you might think, not absolutely all Asian individuals look the exact same.

Before you deliver me personally aggravated communications that I’m being too sensitive and painful, I would ike to teach you only a little one thing called micro-aggression employing a estimate by Canwen Xu. In her own Ted Talk, We have always been Not Your Asian Stereotype, Xu describes that micro-aggression seems a complete great deal like cluelessness, and cluelessness seems a whole lot like, “I’m white. You’re maybe perhaps not and I don’t learn how to cope with that.” She continues to make clear that being ignorant does not suggest you aren’t a person that is kind good motives; it merely means a few of the things you state could be “pretty annoying” when heard by racialized people repeatedly.

To tell the truth, it is emotionally draining being forced to go, “Well really, that which you sa >is offensive…” and challenge your beliefs that are deep-rooted whom you think i will be. And that’s why we penned this comprehensive breakdown on why Asian fetishism (and that pick-up type of yours) ain’t pretty.

We present to you personally 10 cringe-worthy things not to imply and do once you approach a girl that is asian

1. Awkwardly mention your Asian ex-girlfriend away from context.

Unless it pops up in an exceedingly manner that is casual: extremely and casual), your ex’s ethnicity hardly ever has to be mentioned. I’ve had a small number of males not-so-subtlety drop the “Asian ex-girlfriend” card within the initial short while of launching by themselves.

Whenever you bring this t >so good to generally meet you. I did son’t understand you had been currently a known user for the Men Pre-Approved by Another Asian Woman Club!”

Newsflash: mentioning your ex’s ethnicity does not cause you to more desirable, intimately appealing, or trustworthy — and it also truly does not move you to appear more cultured if you’re a white man that is heterosexual. Rather, all that you’ve informed me personally is with ancestors that also came from the largest continent in the world that you once dated a girl that vaguely looks like me.

It makes you appear heartbroken and desperate chatsterbate for an Asian girlfriend replacement — a role I have zero interest in filling when you bring your ex’s race into the conversation without prior context.

make an effort to wow me personally together with your knowledge on Asian tradition by appropriating culture that is asian.

Anime, K-pop, and fighting techinques are growing in appeal in Western tradition, but that doesn’t mean every Asian person in Western culture stocks this interest.

Whenever you state things like, “How do you nothing like anime? we thought all Asian individuals love anime!” or “I really have Chinese tribal tattoo and started taking karate lessons,” exactly just what you’re actually telling me is the fact that you want me to be a specific sort of Asian woman you could bond over eastern Asian tradition with. That you’re learning about different cultures than your own, but you might be appropriating Asian culture more than you think (and that’s a fine line you don’t want to cross) while it’s admirable.

Often, it seems as if i need to justify and reveal to individuals why I’m not Asian sufficient for them. I happened to be raised and born right right here too, you realize? Simply because I look Asian does not suggest all my passions and hobbies result from Asia.